I almost Don’t Believe It

18 Jan

I am almost lost in finding the words to share some very huge news. I have been become so used to sharing my challenges and struggles pretty much all year long. And, it has felt pretty much the same way.

So, I found out today that that my Long-term disability insurer as decided to reverse it’s decision that I did not qualify for the benefit. the insurer and I disagreed on what the policy meant, and should and should not provide. After a year and a half of working to get what I felt I deserved, I will have that benefit back. I can’t even begin to tell you how huge of news that was. I still almost can’t believe it. I should have a check for all the monies owed to me over the past year and a half soon. However, I still am anxious until I see the actual check, hopefully that will come before surgery. As I am sure you can imagine I don’t want’ that hanging over my head going into this procedure. So, It is a huge lift off my shoulders. One less thing to worry about. So, so huge for me. I have enough to worry about as it is.

Just when I felt I couldn’t get a victory. I got one. Hopefully I have one more in me. Getting off those drugs would be just so awesome. I don’t think anyone can understand. There was a longtime I wanted those close to me to understand, but since I have come understand that they just can’t understand what the drugs do to me. But, they do change me. So, I ask. Give me one more victory. After that, who knows.

As the weekly countdown will quickly turn into a daily countdown I am very, very scared. There are no guarantees. Will it improve, but with the continued use of meds. By the way it ain’t cheap. I know it will be better. I just don’t know how much. So, I have no real plans after this. Just the thoughts of feeling back to myself is just too much and I try not to think about it as best as possible. As, I don’t know what lies ahead of me. I’ve made my peace. Will I have my chance?

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Posted by on January 18, 2011 in Previous Posts


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