I spent sometime at Erika’s last night. I got suckered into American Idol. I am not going to lie. I am not a fan. But as I was sitting there getting tired of Simon I thought of getting up and going to bed. And that when it hit me. The day I lost my passions in life I lost my home. The place I once called home is no longer mine. The place with so many memories is no longer mine. It has hope, love, and dreams. I live in a place that is stale, drab and lifeless. I live in a place that has no feeling or memories in it. Erika’s place was my home. Unfortunately, due to new changes in my life I couldn’t return to my home. And on my way back to the place I sleep my heart broke. Realizing I lost my home was one of the most difficult realizations I have had to face.
I wrote the above not long after I returned to Arizona after Craig. I am bringing this thought back, because since then I have built and worked hard to find what I had with Erika way back when. I look back at that and it seems so long ago. Sometimes I don’t have the sense I actually had that life. But, I know I had something special back than, and I do often miss those times. I was at such ease and happiness. But, as we all now all things come to a end, I just didn’t want it to end as it did.
However, as all of you know I purchased a condo, home, last fall. And, six months later I have a home. I love my place. And, so many of you worked hard to make this place what it is. And, for that; many, many thanks. Your efforts were so much larger than perhaps you may realize. Having my home gives me the confidence to take the next step in my life. I guess it all goes back to good ole’ Maslow and his hierarchy of needs. Wow, I actually learned something during my time in school, nice.
It was nice to go back and read what I had written, and know I have regained something of what I lost. Although, somedays I would prefer what I had, but I am so proud and thankful of what I have now. I am building new memories here. And, I am sure my sense of home will only continue grow. Keeping memories of a past home is just fine, but building what I have now is most important. I will always treasure what was, but I will regain the something wonderful with my new home. There is nothing more gratifying in life than having a place you called home.