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Why?

27 Jul

Why are we hardest on the ones we love most. The ones that love us without question and are with us through the tough times we feel we don’t have to worry about their feelings as much as strangers. When things are tough we worry more about the feelings of strangers than the ones that love us and we love. I know that I have been hard on a few specific people in my life that I should have been nicer to, but I wasn’t. I look back at some situations and I think to myself I was an a-hole. I wish I hadn’t been like that. I really do feel bad. I wish I could do something to show them how bad I feel. I don’t think I could ever say or do something that could take back what I have done. I unfortunatly I have to live with what I did. Like many things as of late… all I can do is learn from my mistakes, make myself better, and not let it happen again.

As I have left Arizona I have started to become my own man again, I think about those I left behind. Those that were there for me when I needed it. Many were there for me without question. I know my move was a good decision, but I sometimes feel that I abonended those in Arizona. I guess the best thing for me and those in Arizona is become strong and confident. I need to love who I am.

I realize that this post is random, but it was on my mind today. I needed to write about this.

Today is Saturday…do something you love.

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3 Comments

Posted by on July 27, 2007 in Previous Posts

 

3 responses to “Why?

  1. John and Juli Begley

    July 28, 2007 at 5:39 am

    Isn’t it great about family and friends that love us unconditionally…when we are total jerks…they may not like us much but the love is always there.
    As far as those left behind, and with you, they are responsible for their happiness and have to do whatever is needed for that to happen. They are not responsible for your happiness just as you are not responsible for theirs. It is always good to have friends by your side like you have on this list. The show of support is always phenominal on “Joel’s Recovery”.
    I can’t wait to see you in Oregon at Jamysen’s birthday. Talk to you soon.

     
  2. Brittany

    July 29, 2007 at 3:37 pm

    Hey Joel- I don’t know if you remember me, but I was a student at Craig, when you were there. I periodically read about your recovery and am interested to hear about your pursuit of walking. I recently graduated and took a job at Frazier Rehab Institute in Louisville, Kentucky. It is the lead center for the neuro recovery network and the home center for the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation research. I spend half my day with patients on the treadmill using patterns to activate the nervous system in order to promote walking. Currently the research has shown success with ASIA Cs and Ds, however, they are actively doing research on As and Bs. I believe there is a site in Texas that is getting ready to start this locomotor program, so you may look into that. What kind of things are you doing in therapy? I hope this pursuit turns out to be successful. I have seen it happen and witness everyday the miracles of walking. I would love to talk with you about this, so if you want more infromation, let me know. Good luck and I wish you the best.

     
  3. Janice

    July 29, 2007 at 4:57 pm

    Hey Buddy,

    No one has blown it more than me when it comes to regretting something said or done to people I love. Trust me, I have a lot of experience at this and I’m still working on doing better. It’s a life long struggle.

    I think the only thing that has saved me a little in the past is to admit when I did or said something stupid and to sincerely apologize. It’s the best I can do but does not make it right.

    No words of wisdom from me on this one. Maybe you can give me some.

     

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