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Life

08 Jul

I have written a lot of my experiences since the catastrophice accident I had almost 7 months ago. As I sit here tonight I look back at the last week and I think I wasn’t the strong man I have been. I have been a man that has felt sorry for myself. I have been a man that is lost in the chaos of what happenned. My life was turned up-side-down.

I once was a man that knew what is was to be a man. As I deal with the change I have slowly evolved my perspective of what a man is… I always understood my father was what a man was. Over the last week I have had a new change of perspective. To be a man is to be….strong mentally, not phyisically. That what has created internal challenges within me. I need to be strong inside, not outside. Making this change in perspecitve has not been a easy change. I really wish I could be a man that had this change and moved on with what I need to do. I haven’t. I have spent too much time feeling sorry for myself. Many of you have been there for you when I needed to someone to talk to, or distract me. I am proud nor ashamed in the my downturn in my spirits. The reality is that we all can’t be as strong as we want when hardtimes hit us. It is hard to admit that we are faulible. Just like my weekend….when things are diffucilt and you don’t know what to do; doing something to get you away from the hard times is a good idea. By getting away from the hardships you can comeback with a fresh perspective. Second, no one is perfect. We all have times when we are lost and don’t know what to do. And it is the support group around us that is going to get out of the slump. It is that support group that knows you best. It is that support group that know what to say to you. It is that support group that see you for the strengh you have.

I have said a number of times that I lost everything after the accident, but I didn’t. I still have the support group around me helping me back up. Sometimes it is just as easily for a friend to just listen, just that easy.

There have been a couple people that I have confide in when I was at my lowest. I want to thank you for your unconditional support, love, and ears. I will be always indebted to you. I hope I can continue to confide in you in the future.

I really don’t know why I wrote what I wrote, but I know it had to be said. I had to realize that I can have my downturns, but I have a awesome support group that can lift me up and listen to me. We all can be that to someone. Sometimes that is all a person in a downturn needs…a ear.

I am on the verge of another huge change in my life. I am confident that I will walk again. I will admitt I am scared of won’t happen. I am scared to leave what I have here in Arizona. I am scared to rebuild my life again. I am scared of giving up. I am scared of I won’t ever have has much I did again.

I have said this to a couple of people…I am just too dumb give up on myself. I have always been proud of my persistance. I will conitune to have the persistance. I will rise again.

This just had to be said.

Joel Yates

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7 Comments

Posted by on July 8, 2007 in Previous Posts

 

7 responses to “Life

  1. matt

    July 9, 2007 at 7:48 am

    Glad you had a good weekend. A bunch of buddies sitting around making fun of each other are some of the best memories that I have, its just great fun. Awesome to hear that you are getting more and more feeling back. I will pray that it continues. This last post was a good one.
    Keep on Keepin’ on.

    matt

     
  2. John and Juli Begley

    July 9, 2007 at 1:16 pm

    Perhaps a good place to start is to acknowledge and like who you are and who you have become. Anything else that evolves ie: walking will be icing on the cake just as not walking will lead you to your next adventure. Take with you the things you have learned and move on.
    Joel, you are a fabulous person and you are right when you recognize your support group, but kiddo…take credit where it is due…you are a great guy who has had an incredible hard knock but don’t let it knock you down. Live life as you are destined to do, just like your dad accomplished.

     
  3. Janis

    July 9, 2007 at 2:13 pm

    Joel,
    You seem to get stronger and wiser with each downturn. Maybe that’s the path you have to take, you have to go down into a valley to appreciate when you are up on a mountain. Hope Texas is cooler than Phoenix. Much love, Janis

     
  4. Uncle George and Aunt Elna

    July 9, 2007 at 2:55 pm

    Joel, after two weeks traveling, we are just catching up on your blogs. Wow! What challenging and exciting changes are in store for you. While we can’t know what it is to be in your shoes, we can surely relate to the feelings you are sharing. We have all had our own ups and downs, and we have all faced change in many ways. And you are so right about the need for support by friends and family. You have a great support network, and you have some great role models, starting with you mom and dad. And you are persistent and you will succeed. Our best wishes and our prayers are going with you to Texas. We will be anxious to follow your progress.
    Love and hugs, George and Elna…

     
  5. Janice

    July 9, 2007 at 9:20 pm

    Hey Joel,

    You know I will always be there for you if you need anything…no matter how many miles are between us.

    I’m going to miss having you around for the Dave dinners and family events. I want you to know that I suport you in your decisions to do what you need to do in life.

    By the way, I have a sister in Dallas……you may see me in Texas when you least expect it.

    I’m really gald that I will be able to say goodby to you in person. I would have been sad if you left when I was out of town.

    By the way you have a great mom who loves you a lot.

    I have said this from the beginning, you will do some amazing things with your life and you will affect others in a very positive way. Trust me,….I just know things.

    Love you Joel,

    Janice

     
  6. mb

    July 10, 2007 at 2:50 pm

    Joel,
    We will always be listening to your words no matter what is said. Support comes in many forms, and we will always be here for you!
    Love,
    MB & Ron

     
  7. Sharon Bodle

    July 10, 2007 at 7:30 pm

    Joel,
    I truly believe you are discovering what it takes many a lifetime to learn. Life is a process and in our valley’s we sometimes grow the most. I’ve said it before, the only constant in life is change. You have dealt with more change in a short six months, yes I know at times they have seemed extremely long, than many people deal with in half a lifetime. You are so fortunate to have your Mom, brothers and the rest of your family. They are wonderful people and love you dearly. I have seen from posts that your supporters are also very caring people that have only your best interests in mind. I think when it comes right down to it what we do in relationships, caring for other people, is probably the most important facet of our lives. Unfortunately, most of us desire to be in the giving position all of the time and have great difficulties being on the receiving end of this. Being able to do so with some portion of humility and thankfulness is a gift in itself. Thank you for letting us have a part in the giving position. You have chosen to share your life triumphs and also struggles with a group of people and we have been blessed to be a part of your life. Many people reading this blog to keep up with your recovery and future plans will never leave a comment, but continue to uphold you in thoughts and prayers – I know a few of them. I’ve gotten long winded so it is time to stop. Awaiting your next posting . . .
    Sharon

     

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