Yesterday was an anniversary of sorts. Today, four months ago I got into my accident. As I look back at the last four months it all seems so unreal. To go from someone that even could get out of bed to someone who lives on their own and makes it through life as a new person.
I can’t say I know exactly who this person is when I look at my reflection. Most, if not every, day I still wish I would see my old face in the mirror. It has been difficult to get to this point. I have been forced to find a new life, but I loved as it was. Some days confronting those things that I can’t do anymore still really haunts me. Many of those feeling gave me the feeling of freedom. For example, riding my bike through ASU without my hands on the handlebars. I have felt insecure about my abilities since getting back home. Those things in my old life that I took pride in I no longer have the ability to do. I felt pride in taken care of things around the house. I took pride in hiking big mountains. I took pride in riding my bike long distances. My point is I lost my legs and my confidence and I don’t know how to get it back.
Today I also attended a meeting for wheelchair basketball. I was nice to meet some guys that have gone through a similar circumstance as I am. I was comforting to be around other people in wheelchairs. It felt a little like Craig, and it was nice. The regular season doesn’t start-up for a while, but I they have open gym on Thursday night. I will start there.
I do have bummer news though. I wasn’t feeling good this morning so I missed my ride to the “Deal or no Deal” auditions. It was my own fault. I’ll have to find some other reality TV show to get on.
Well Today is hump day, so find somebody and….